Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
