real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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