That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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