Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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