the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
