Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
