I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
