just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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