There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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