He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I want to be your penis for a week.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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