scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
