who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
