I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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