The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
