He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
All I want is dick and wine.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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