Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
