is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
