It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
