Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Can Purell be used as lube?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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