Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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