I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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