if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
