I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
