you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
