I seem to have left my pride at pride
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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