Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
