it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Alive.
So much puke
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
