I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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