with your own penis?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
