id be glad to
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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