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she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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