Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
