Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
