I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize