He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
