so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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