You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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