he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
