I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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