I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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