I am spending my child support on dildos
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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