im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
