Cold hands, warm shart.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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