I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
