Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
