You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
