You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
