he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
