she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
