is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
